Consult a Character #3: Queen Arsinoe of Two Dark Reigns

Hey everyone! Welcome to the second edition of my new feature—Consult A Character—where your favorite fictional characters will be sharing their wise advice for your day to day problems and complaints!

Do you need some advice from a fictional character? Submit your questions to this Google Form or simply leave them in the comment section! The authors characters pick which questions from my list they want to answer for each feature, so if you do submit a question, be sure to check back and see if someone has responded to it!

In celebration of the publication of Two Dark Reigns by Kendare Blake, we welcome Queen Arsinoe to to answer your questions. We all hope you enjoy her responses!

ABOUT QUEEN ARSINOE:

The middle triplet of the triplet queens of Fennbirn Island. She was raised a naturalist, so she's good with animals, but is a poisoner by gift, so is good at eating things (even deadly things) and using them to poison people.

Dear Queen Arsinoe,

I'm in high school and have a lot of opinions about social and political issues, but my parents don't like it. I wanted to attend an upcoming protest but I don't want to upset them. When I've tried talking with them about it, they can't even really explain why it bothers them. What should I do?

Sincerely, Opinionated

Dear Opinionated,

 I never had any parents, but parents schmarents. Go to the protest if that's what you want to do. They probably won't even find out about it, but if they do, they might be mad enough to finally tell you the truth about why it bothers them.

~Queen Arsinoe

Dear Queen Arsinoe,

While our parents go away on vacation, my sister and I are supposed to split the responsibility of taking care of my dog. He's older and needs to be let out to pee constantly, and she never does it! I know this because when I am home, I let him out a lot and he never pees in the house. But whenever I come home after she's been with him, there is pee everywhere and I have to clean it! She claims that she's been letting him out constantly and has no idea why he is peeing so much, but it has happened like that too many times to be coincidental. She clearly doesn't care because she knows I will be the one to come home and be forced to clean up the pee while she hides in her room. How should I teach her a lesson?

Sincerely, Fed Up

Dear Fed Up,

I like your dog, he just does what he does when he needs to do it. Now to take care of your sister. The next time she neglects him and makes the poor fellow whiz all over the house, you should definitely continue to clean it up. Use cloths and a soothing tone, so he knows that you know it was not his fault. Then take the cloths, and throw them into your sister's room. Lock her in there for a while, what the heck. Maybe so long that she has to whiz on the carpet too. That might sound mean, but you already gave her the rags to clean it up, so...

~Queen Arsinoe

Dear Queen Arsinoe,

I'm trying to eat healthier but my friend has been on a crazy baking spree. How can I respectfully tell her to stop stuffing me with cream puffs without hurting her feelings? 

Sincerely, All Puffed Out

Dear All Puffed Out,

 I don't get you. No more cream puffs? Ridiculous! But if you insist, don't rain on that fabulous baker's parade. Re-gift those puffs to someone who wants them. Maybe someone on a secret, magical island.

~Queen Arsinoe

Dear Queen Arsinoe,

I keep walking over to stare into my fridge over and over again, as if I am expecting something new to appear. I can't explain why I do this, but I often feel the urge to do it when I am bored. Why am I so obsessed with my fridge? 

Sincerely, Not Even Hungry

Dear Not Even Hungry,

 What is a 'fridge'? Is it where you keep food? If it is, then I'm not surprised you're obsessed with it. It's important to make sure that your food is safe and remains where you put it. Your fridge must be really pretty and full of pretty food, and I'd probably like to look in there, too.

~Queen Arsinoe

Dear Queen Arsinoe,

Recently, a huge flock of geese has "moved in" to my family's backyard. Granted, it's a huge backyard, but it's also A LOT of geese and they have pooped on everything! Should I try some scarecrows? I don't really have much bird-scaring experience, but I want them gone--along with their poop! Help?

Sincerely, Pooped

Dear Pooped,

Don't piss off the geese. They're mean and they'll chase you. You will not scare them and neither will your scarecrows. Find something useful to do with the poop and get used to your new existence. Unless you have some of the naturalist gift, and then just tell them to poop on the edges of the yard.

~Queen Arsinoe

Two Dark Reigns (Three Dark Crowns #3) by Kendare Blake

Publisher: HarperTeen
Pub. Date: September 4, 2018
Buy Links: Amazon | Barnes and Noble | Book Depository

Queen Katharine has waited her entire life to wear the crown. But now that she finally has it, the murmurs of dissent grow louder by the day. There’s also the alarming issue of whether or not her sisters are actually dead—or if they’re waiting in the wings to usurp the throne.

Mirabella and Arsinoe are alive, but in hiding on the minland and dealing with a nightmare of their own: being visited repeatedly by a specter they think might be the fabled Blue Queen. Though she says nothing, her rotting, bony finger pointing out to sea is clear enough: return to Fennbirn.


Jules, too, is in a strange place—in disguise. And her only confidants, a war-gifted girl named Emilia and her oracle friend Mathilde, are urging her to take on a role she can’t imagine filling: a legion-cursed queen who will lead a rebel army to Katharine’s doorstep.

This is an uprising that the mysterious Blue Queen may have more to do with than anyone could have guessed—or expected.

Who are some characters you'd like to get advice from? Remember if you would like to submit your own questions to be used to in this feature, fill out the Google form or simply leave a comment below!